Monday, May 29, 2006
A Slice of Life...
Have you ever felt that you are being misinterpreted? When you say something with an utmost innocent intent, yet the receiver fails to see that intent but interprets it as somewhat offensive?
I feel that we as humans are sometimes too quick to judge the context of a statement without really processing it first. And sometimes, that immediate initial reaction might be too hasty. So hasty that before you know it, a sullen silence falls in the conversation and everything just stops?
Was listening to 'A Slice of Life' on my way to work this morning and something rang true:
There is more than one way to look at what someone means when he/she says something. What's important is that you attune yourselves to what your Loved One means when he/she speaks. A smirk can be seen as intimate, yet it can be seen as condescending. Therefore, what must be done is to observe what your other half normally means when he/she says certain things, which frees you from unnecessary quarrels because of misinterpretations.
However, that is not to say that you can say anything you want just because you expect your other half to attune him/herself to you. You too, must be sensitive about the what you say and how you say it, and most importantly, how your other half perceives it usually.
In short, both parties have to be attuned to one another. This seems to be like a very idiot type of advice, but it may turn out to be a case of 'easier being said than done'. Many couples today spend too much time looking but not too much time listening. What do I mean by this? Basically, we spend too much time idealising about the present yet we do not spend enough time talking and actually empathising with one another. Make no mistake about it and let me be candid before anyone of you have any preconcieved notions: YES! YOU STILL HAVE TO EMPATHISE WHEN YOU ARE A COUPLE! And it continues as long as you are a couple. Empathising is the key to understanding the feelings of others.
To those out there that constantly complains that they don't understand their other half: START LISTENING!
Take it easy, Keep it real...
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